Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, sort of

Did you know that if you drive a Jeep…wait. If you drive a Jeep WRANGLER, you’re automatically in an exclusive club?

I know.

Because I’m in it.

I’m in the exclusive Jeep club.

And, I like it!

I recently purchased a new 4-door Jeep Wrangler, which I like very much.  It’s even a stick shift!

I wasn’t even looking at Jeeps when I first started looking for a new vehicle to replace my daddy’s Ford Expedition.  (My mom had loaned the Expedition to us after Daddy passed away.  For that we will be eternally grateful.)

But, it was time to downsize.  Now that my oldest is on the verge of driving his truck, solo, and because both boys are a bit older, I no longer need a bus to cart everyone and everything around.

I really didn’t know what I wanted.  I just knew I didn’t want what everyone else had.  That meant I ruled out minivans, sedans, SUVs and every other car that looked the same.  ThrillCam told me I could look for a vehicle that was just for me and just for fun.

So, my oldest son became my car counselor.  He, and the guys on the BBC show, Top Gear.  (We love that show!!  And, apparently, they are about to release a new American version–I’m not sure I’ll like it as much, but I will give it a try.)

I realize what I just wrote.  I was being guided and advised as to what car to buy by my 16-year-old BOY.  (And a bunch of funny Brits who also happen to like cars.)

But, I figured if anyone knew what kinds of cars were out there, what they were like, and which ones were different, my son would be the one.

He immediately, without hesitation, said I must check out VW’s Golf GTI.  (Top Gear rates as one of their all-time favorite cars.)

photo courtesy of Volkswagen and Google images.

Can I just tell you?  This little car is one zippy, F-U-N car!  And, honestly, it was really, really comfortable.  Looks are deceiving; it has quite a bit more space than one would think.  Oh, and it was FAST.

I really liked this car.  And, I came very, very close to getting one.

But, then, I told my son I wanted to look at the Mini Cooper.

photo courtesy of Mini Cooper and Google images, again

We both loved the dash on the Mini.  It is über cool!

And, I must admit, it is also quite fast and zippy.

When I drove the Mini, I had visions of being in The Italian Job.

Me and Mark Wahlberg.

But, after driving it, I realized the Mini was not the car for me.  At least not right now.  Maybe once the kids are out of the house.  But not until I no longer have to carry stinky, tall boys around town.  There is simply zero leg room in the backseat, even in the Clubman version.

I guess I’ll just have to settle for daydreams of Marky-Mark and me zipping in and out of tunnels and winding streets in our Minis, being chased by the bad guys, but ultimately fooling them and getting all the money.

photo courtesy of …oh, you know…Google images.

Then, the boys–all three of them, including ThrillCam–talked me into checking out the new Dodge Challenger.

photo courtesy of Dodge and Google images…I wish I could give credit where credit it due, because these are great shots of each car!

It’s a muscle car.  It’s big.  And heavy.

And, not me.

Oh, how the boys wanted it to be me.

But, to be honest, once we got it down into our price range, it was just a shell of the Challenger.  It would not have been the car my boys wanted it to be.  I could not get the 8-cylinder, Hemi engine version of the Challenger that would make me oh-so-cool in their eyes.

Besides, I didn’t like it.  I didn’t want, for some odd reason, to put my groceries in a trunk.  Don’t ask me why.

Plus, the back seat wasn’t even as big and comfortable as the back seat in the Golf GTI.  But, boy does it have a big engine.

So, while I was contemplating, quite briefly, the Challenger, I found myself drawn to the 4-door Jeeps.

ThrillCam used to own a Jeep.  Two in fact.  Not at the same time.

photo courtesy of ME!  That’s my oldest a few years ago when it snowed on Easter in central Texas.  Crazy day.

ThrillCam knows what it’s like to be in the Jeep club.  He was a proud, card-carrying member.  In fact, he got the above white Jeep after he sold an older dark green standard shift Jeep.

Wanna know why he sold it?

He was caught in what I lovingly call, RitaJam.  The entire city of Houston tried to evacuate for Hurricane Rita, in 2005, and the entire city of Houston got stuck in a massive, horrible traffic jam.  It took ThrillCam over 16 hours to get to my parents’ ranch–it normally takes a mere 4 hours.  What’s crazy, his story is actually minor compared to others’ stories of that horrible 36+ hours.

Anyway, after driving a stick shift for 16 hours in stop and go traffic, he decided it was time to sell the green Jeep and get an automatic.

Then, sadly, a few years later, he sold his white Jeep to get a big pickup truck that he can use to pull our church’s trailer.  (That takes a long explanation, so I’m not going into it.  Just suffice to say, he couldn’t pull a heavy trailer with his Jeep.)

So, fast forward, lo these many years, to my car shopping days.  I decided on a Jeep Wrangler, which made my wonderful ThrillCam very happy.

I’m pretty pleased with my decision, even though the Jeep is a stiffer ride than the Golf GTI.  It’s obviously a little more rugged.  But, it will be fun on the 4 days of the year, when it’s finally cool enough to ride with the top off!!

And, guess what?  I’m in the club…and ThrillCam is not!!  hehe

By the way, know how I know I’m in the club?

The other day, I pulled into Sonic to get lunch for me and my youngest punk.  I was hot and sweaty.  I had on no makeup.  My hair was greasy.  And frizzy from the humidity.  I’m not sure if my legs were shaven or not.  But, they weren’t showing, so it didn’t matter.  I looked like something the cat drug in.

As I was stuffing my second onion ring in my mouth and taking a swig of a humongous Route 44 Strawberry Limeade, I began to back out.  There happened to be a nice looking, much younger gentleman, with his shirt off, parked next to me, in, you guessed it, a Jeep Wrangler.  Two door.  Top off.  Of the Jeep.  But, yes, as I said, his top was off, too.

With my cheeks full of food, we make eye contact. The young man, with no shirt on, smiles and WAVES AT ME!

I know!  I have a way about myself.


Listen. He was in no way, shape or form flirting with me.

Remember, I’m in my 40s, I’ve given birth to two boys, I’m flabby and I have more than one chin.

He waves because we are bonded.


We are one.

We are Jeep.

I love being in this club–it’s a boost to my ego.




    • Elizabeth Simmons

      Lori, I could probably have a picture taken of me just about everyday at Sonic with my mouth full of onion rings…. It’s pretty pitiful.

    • Elizabeth Simmons

      Thanks, Heather! It already needs a bath, in a big way, but there’s no reason to wash it when it rains every other day….

I'm curious. Tell me what you think...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s