The First Step is to Admit You Have a Problem….

Warning: the following photos may gross you out.  The topic may give you the willies, and/or the hebbie-jebbies.   If they do, you will then be entering into my world, my torture.

…Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


This topic is not something I would normally speak of in front of polite company, but I figured if you are reading this drivel, you’re probably not polite company anyway.

You see, I have an embarrassing problem that I’ve tried, in vain, to get control of, but to no avail.  For three years, I’ve kept it a secret from almost everyone.  Only my very closest friends know about my daily battle.

But, now everyone will know.

And, why do I dare air my dirty laundry on the internet, where anyone and their dog can read about it?  Well, because I need some help!  And, I figured the only way to find relief, is to reach out to others who have battled and conquered.

So, here goes.

Hi.  My name is Elizabeth and I have a tick problem.

No, that’s not my hand, nor are those my ticks.  But, on any given day, you could ask me to show you my hand, and I might just have a tick in it.

Not that I carry ticks around for pleasure.

It’s that we have had infestations, off and on, for the last 3 years.  (I’ll explain more below.)

I grew up in the country, so ticks don’t freak me out like they do most people.  Ticks were and are a normal occurrence in the country.  But, I don’t live in the country anymore. And yet, I have ticks.  (Not ON me, just around me.  Everywhere.)

You see, our house backs up to an empty pasture.  And we have a dog.  Ticks love dogs.  Apparently, the ticks in our neighborhood love MY dog, in particular, and tell all their tick friends to come to our house.  So, when Bear goes outside to bark at the wind or chase dragonflies, the ticks hop on for a ride.  It’s a dog party, a great big dog party! (Can you name that children’s book?)

Then, Bear comes bounding back into house, carrying the little buggers on his feet and in his fur.

I am SICK OF TICKS!!!!

Three years is a long time.  But, the infestations have come in waves.

Just when I think I’ll go stark raving mad because of the ticks, the weather changes or the moon aligns with Mars (or something along those lines), and the tick population drops.  So, I think, “Yea!  We’ve finally conquered our tick problem!  They’re out of our lives forever!”

Then, the season changes.  Or it rains a lot.  Or it rains very little.  Or, I just breathe.  For whatever reason, the ticks return…each time with a vengeance.

My sister, who still lives in the country, says the ticks are bad out there, as well.  BUT SHE LIVES IN THE COUNTRY!  That’s to be expected.  As I’ve said, I live in the city!  I shouldn’t have this problem.  …I don’t ever hear my neighbors complaining about this issue.  (Again, not something you talk about in polite company.)

My sister also told me ticks are a part of the arachnid family….spiders.  Lovely.  That explains the rapid reproduction of the blasted things.  (I think they carry their minuscule babies on their backs, too.  Not sure of that…haven’t done any in-depth research on ticks because I hate them so much.  My hypothesis is based on observation, only.)

I am normally very appreciative of God’s creation and can find something good about most insects and bugs.  But, when it comes to this particular pest, I can find nothing good.  Nothing.  They are not from God, they are from the devil….

I loathe ticks.

We’ve tried everything.  We bathe Bear in tick/flea shampoo, we add the drops to his back, we’ve treated the yard, we’ve bombed the house, we’ve sprinkled the carpet with tick/flea powder.  If it can be purchased, we’ve bought it and used it.

Though, the two things we have not tried, yet, are:  1) moving, or 2) burning the house down.

I’m getting very, very close to one the two.

(I talked to my vet about this problem a couple of months ago, and she told me about one of her clients who moved out of their house for THREE MONTHS to try to rid themselves of the ticks!!  I really don’t want to do that.  Really I don’t.  Besides, it’s not that bad at my house…at least, not yet, anyway.)

But, today, TODAY, a professional exterminator is coming to our house.

Today, I will rely on someone else to do the dirty work.  Join me in a moment of silence…we pray this works.

Lord, may the exterminator KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE NASTY, ANNOYING, BLOODTHIRSTY VERMIN!!!!  MAY THEY EACH DIE A LONG AND PAINFUL DEATH OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!!!! Amen.

I say that in love.

Thank you for listening and not judging, y’all.  The check is in the mail.

E.

P.S. If you’ve ever had this problem and found a product that works effectively, please let me know.  SOON.  Before my dog becomes anemic.

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8 comments

  1. Heather

    I hope the exterminator works. I have to admit as long as we have been here, and I think it’s going on 8 years now, I have never seen a tick. I hope your ticks do not decided to move into my place!
    As for your options: Option 1. Please don’t move… I like having you as a neighbor! Option 2. Seeing that I live next to you, please don’t burn your house down!

    • Elizabeth Simmons

      The TICK-ERMINATOR, as I now call him, said they are coming in with the rabbits and other animals coming into our yard. (We have a number of rabbit holes under our fence in the back…. Probably since you don’t have a crazy lab who likes to bark at the wind, you don’t have ticks! Thankfully.
      And, yes, I am hoping they don’t decide to move next door to your yard!! 😉
      I didn’t want to move, either. I like it here. I like our neighbors, like y’all!!
      No burning will be happening, now that the TICK-ERMINATOR has come to save the day!!

  2. Brooke

    Good luck with the extermination. I’ve only had a couple brushes with ticks but the last freaked me out. One found it’s way under the dog’s collar and had been there for some time because he was a 1/2″ in length. I felt so bad… but we took care of it and have been tick free ever since. *ew*

    • Elizabeth Simmons

      They are not fun, in the least. But, they haven’t been getting on us, the people, just the dog and the carpet. blecch!
      Anyway, I am VERY happy to report, after the TICK-ERMINATOR left, I have seen very few ticks!!!!! You have no idea how much that makes me happy…

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