You Can Take the Girl Out of the Trailer Park…

Occasionally, I like to cook.  And, usually, if I actually do cook, I end up trying out a new recipe.  Like Beef and Brew Stew.  I found the recipe in my Texas Home Cooking cookbook by Cheryl and Bill Jamison.  (You can find it on–I looked on Barnes & Noble’s site, but could not find it there.)  My mom gave me that cookbook a couple of years ago, and it’s super!  Most recipes have multiple steps, but they aren’t complicated.  If they were, I wouldn’t be using the book.

So, the other day, after I got home from subbing, I immediately changed my clothes and slipped into something more comfortable, then reached for my Texas Home Cooking cookbook.

I had stew meat and a hankerin’.

One would think if the title is Beef and BREW Stew, one would surmise that beer was involved.  One would think.

I, on the other hand, am not quite smart enough to calculate such equations.

So, as I launch into the recipe, it dawns on me, for the recipe to be complete and accurate, I must add 3 cups of beer.

I don’t have 3 cups of beer.

I don’t have any beer.

I don’t like beer.

Never have.

I’ve always figured if one must acquire a taste for something, whether it’s beer or something else, it’s just not worth the time.  So, I’ve never acquired a taste for it.

I was far more interested in cultivating my taste buds for cheese, bread, cream cheese, chocolate, more cheese, and possibly fruity, slushy-like drinks with little umbrellas.  Those were easy to acquire tastes for.

But not beer.

So, in order to create this yummy stew, I had to find some beer.  And fast.

Enter my neighbors.

They always have beer.

(Now, that makes them look like drunkards and hooligans.  They are not.  They are self-respecting folks who just happen to like beer.  A lot.)

(Noooo, not really.  I don’t think having an extra fridge in the garage that holds only beer and maybe a stick of butter makes you a bad person.  It just makes you someone who likes beer.  And butter.)

(Okay.  Now, I’ve done it.  My neighbors are going to be mad at me.  But, they must know I’m just joshin’.  I love, love my boozer friends!)

Alright.  Enough of that.  I’m keeeeding!

I texted a couple of my neighbors and the first to answer my call for help was Stan.  He told me to just go to their house and get the beer.  It was very kind of him to share.  Besides, he had plenty.  (Keeeediing!!!)

And, because it’s the new year and I’m starting things off right, I decided I would actually walk down to Stan’s house.  He and Tammy live a good 6 or 7 houses down the street from me.  I knew if I walked that distance, I might actually break a sweat for the first time this year! (maybe for the first time in a couple of years…)

I get to their house, go into their garage, grab two beers and begin to walk back home.

It is the moment that I close their garage door and enter back into the open neighborhood that I realize what I must look like.

I am forced to carry home two beers, swinging them by the plastic holder…the beers were actually quite cold, too cold to carry under my shirt…

Speaking of shirts, I was wearing my horrible paint-stained Baylor shirt that is almost falling apart, I’ve worn it so much.  (But I love the fact that it has paint swatches from every home we’ve lived in for the last 15 years, so I never seem to be able to part with it.)

The paint-stained shirt topped off my favorite sweat pants.

And, I, of course, was sporting my blue fuzzy house-shoes….

Thank heavens I took the toothpick out of my mouth before leaving the house….

I think I even scratched my belly a couple of times while holding the beer, wondering what to do about my dilemma.

I don’t really think I can do justice as to how trashy I looked, but I’m very, very glad my neighbors were not outside to see me.

I can only imagine what would have been said about the pastor’s wife out on a binge.  Again.



P.S. The stew was FAB-U-LOUS!

P.S.S. Thanks, Stan!  I owe you some beer!



  1. bev t

    Hey, you’re blogging IN THE FUTURE! It says Jan 8th! I do believe it is still Friday the 7th. Can you give me lotto numbers?

    • Elizabeth Simmons

      Okay, friend…why in the world are you still up at 3:18am!??
      Lotto numbers are: 2,56,9,14,30,66,14,43,7,99,84,16, and 1,854. I hope you win!

  2. Brooke

    We always have beer too. Actually, we usually have more beverages (beer, cola, juice, milk, water, etc) in the fridge than we do food. It’s sad. I keep a bag of oranges in there just to make me feel better. 😉

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