Where’s the Honey Badger when you need one??!

So, I’m actually swimming a few laps in our pool, when I happen to catch something in the corner of my eye. Something moving in the pool, along the wall.

I thought, at first, it was a frog, but frogs don’t have long tails that go back and forth, back and forth, in an easy gliding manner. Frogs have legs and sort of scissor kick when they swim.

Holy Moly! There’s a snake in my pool!!

Needless to say, I got out quick!

(Our neighborhood backs up to a canal, where a number of poisonous water snakes live and thrive.  And, we had been warned that our pool, even being close to a canal full of water, might attract snakes, especially because of the drought.)

The little snake swam straight into the skimmer and got stuck in the swirling water.

I didn’t get him out immediately; I decided to go inside and change clothes before dealing with our visitor.

When I got back outside, the snake was gone.

He was no longer in the skimmer.

Uh-oh.

I decided to check the other skimmer, just in case he had moved to that one.

I lifted the lid and I find, not one, but TWO snakes in my pool!

I WAS SWIMMING WITH TWO STINKIN’ SNAKES IN MY POOL!!!

Not sure if you can see both of them; one is down toward the bottom, while the smaller of the two is the more obvious on the right. (All photos taken with my iPhone camera.)  

Yes, they are small, but who cares??  They’re snakes!!!

I texted both my husband and our neighbor Stan, who both claim to be the Honey Badger, to ask for their help.

Neither one showed up.

Chickens.

In fact, Stan texted me back: “BURN ‘EM!!”  (Stan hates snakes with every fiber of his being.)

Real helpful, Stan.

I was alone.

I didn’t see how I could burn the snakes, beings as they were swimming in water, and, unfortunately, when I tried to get the smaller of the two snakes out, he just slithered right back into the pool and ended up getting sucked back into the skimmer.

So, I just waited until my fearless hubby returned to save the day.

By the time ThrillCam got home, the larger of the two snakes had somehow gotten out of the skimmer and completely out of the pool.

No clue where he went.

Lovely.

Good thing we had determined the snakes were not poisonous.

ThrillCam got the smaller one out and released it back out to the wild (behind our house).

We said goodbye to it and told it to go swim in the canal.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning, ThrillCam was out swimming laps.  I hear this loud, “Whoa!”

You guessed it.

Another snake in our pool.

Great.

We actually think the same smaller snake from the day before had returned.  Once again, he was stuck in the skimmer basket.

Unfortunately, this second attempt at releasing the little fellow was not as successful as the first.

We’re not sure where he is now, but he slipped off the shovel head and into the grass in our backyard.

We lost him.

Although, I’m happy to report, he has not returned to our pool.

Scared of the Honey Badgers, I’m sure.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Honey Badger, you say?

Okay….here’s the back story:

Stan killed a snake in his front yard a few months ago.  After his triumphal murder, he texted us to claim he was the Honey Badger.  We had no idea what he was talking about.

We then watched the YouTube video.  Now we know.

A couple weeks later, ThrillCam was working at my mom and dad’s place, and killed a 4-5 foot snake by chopping off its head.  He took a picture and sent a text claiming HE was the Honey Badger.

I, of course, got them both a t-shirt:

We’re mature like that.

And, so the Honey Badger references continue…

Probably forever.

E.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are wondering about the references to the Honey Badger, you can watch it on YouTube.

WARNING: there is language that I, personally, would never, ever use, so if you have young, impressionable children close by, or are easily offended by cursing, or would just rather not hear dirty words, please DON’T click on the Honey Badger link above.  (I don’t usually link to something that could be offensive, but the references to the Honey Badger are so very prevalent with our neighbors, I wanted to give you a point of reference.)

Of course, you can watch many other videos on YouTube about the Honey Badger, without the bad language, and get a very good idea about how tough a Honey Badger is.  They aren’t the prettiest creature alive, but they sure are mean and tough….They really don’t care.

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6 comments

  1. Judy Bryant

    Hey Elizabeth, as one who hates snakes and is deathly afraid of them, I definitely like the bad ass Honey Badger! I would now be a bit afraid of swimming in your beautiful pool!

  2. Robin Dodd

    This reminds me of our trip to Bastrop this summer and our stay at the lovely Lost Pines Resort. They had to pull the snakes out of the lazy river every morning because even back in June it was very dry..Two words.. HELL TO THE NO!! That one in the first picture looks like a poisonous snake!! OMG… you better look around!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!

    • Elizabeth Simmons

      Thankfully, no other snakes have entered the pool…. And, believe you-me, I look now! And, no, they weren’t poisonous, we’re pretty sure. Either way, yuck, you know?
      Euuwww, I wouldn’t want to swim in the lazy river with the snakes, either!!

  3. Lana Rush

    This post is cracking me up! Back when we had a pool, we checked it on a regular basis because you never knew what critters would be in there – mice, rats, frogs, snakes… even a bunny once. Sad, but true. You and Cameron are going to have to stop being nice and “releasing” them – it’s time to get out the hoe and show no mercy! I promise not to tell PETA.

    • Elizabeth Simmons

      Actually, Lana, we’ve had frogs, of course, and one rabbit, so far. (Our pool guy fished the rabbit out, and it immediately bit him!) And, we think there was either a tiny baby rabbit or baby mouse in the skimmer one morning. 😦 So, yes, we are learning to look a little more closely before dipping our toes in the water….

      One day, I’ll have to tell the story of my mother trying to kill a snake with a grass rake. Not quite as effective as a hoe.

  4. Pingback: Honey Badger Controversy « Out to Lunch…Looking at life through the lens of Elizabeth Simmons

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