Honey Badger Controversy

Apparently, my discussion of Honey Badgers and snakes in my pool, yesterday, created a little buzz in my happy, little neighborhood.

Okay, to be perfectly honest, the controversy is just between me, ThrillCam and Stan, my neighbor.

And, as someone who knows the best way to resolve a conflict is to address the problem at the root of the issue, and to talk directly to the person with whom she has conflict, I will now attempt reconciliation.

On my blog.

In public.

You are my witnesses.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

First, Stan.

Stan was somewhat impressed withThrillCam, who after killing and beheading a rather large snake, called himself a Honey Badger.  But, after Stan read my blog, yesterday, he has decided ThrillCam does not bring honor to the name of Honey Badger.  Therefore, ThrillCam cannot call himself a Honey Badger, even though, ThrillCam has proof that he did, indeed, strike down a snake:

Stan basically challenged that ThrillCam cannot call himself a Honey Badger, much less THE Honey Badger, if he captured and released our pool snake back into the world.

Stan, professes HE is the undisputed, one and only, Honey Badger in our neighborhood, because, and I quote,

“I will certainly do whatever it takes to kill, eradicate, eliminate, obliterate, destroy, murder, torture, slay, execute, slaughter, exterminate, etc….any snake of any size or type (although ALL snakes are 6 ft. long and are water moccasins; even cobras are 6 ft. long water moccasins).”

He went on about snakes being evil creatures, he even quoted the Bible, and made mention that all snakes procreate and make MORE snakes, which is very, very bad in his eyes, so one should never, ever release a snake back into the wild, especially near his home.

He said because he holds this view of snakes–that all snakes should die–that, in and of itself, qualifies him to be the ONE and TRUE HONEY BADGER. Surely, no real Honey Badger would ever, ever let a snake get away…alive!

Then, in his rant, he went on to say that, yes, HONEY BADGER DOES CARE!

How does Stan know whether the Honey Badger cares or not?  Does he have some creepy otherworldly connection to the Honey Badger?  Does he secretly commune with the Honey Badger?  Are they one and the same?  Honey Stan Badger??

I think not.

Honestly, Stan is kind of cuckoo.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now, ThrillCam.

He’s all pouty because I told the world (all 13 of you) that he caught and released a snake, rather than kill it.

He thinks it makes him look bad.  Wimpy.

He just wanted me to show the picture above, of the snake hanging on the fence, proving he can slay a snake, bare-handed, ripping its head off with his teeth….

He’s mad that I even have a stupid blog.

To be honest, ThrillCam is kind of cuckoo, too.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

While I’m at it, the Honey Badger is cuckoo.

E.

 

Update: You may look up the video of which my husband and friend refer to on YouTube.  Just look for Honey Badger, narrated by Randall.  WARNING: the video contains questionable language, which I, personally, would never, ever use or condone.  So, if you are easily offended, or just would rather not hear dirty words, please don’t choose that particular version of the Honey Badger videos.  Otherwise, you may watch numerous other videos on YouTube about the Honey Badger that fully describes how mean and tough the little booger is!

Advertisements

6 comments

  1. Andrea

    Oh dear- I was really hoping you would explain the significance of the Honey badger at all, as I don’t have a CLUE what that is all about. 😦

    • Elizabeth Simmons

      I’m sorry, Andrea!
      Yesterday, I posted more about the Honey Badger, with a link to the YouTube video. I should have explained it again, for folks just dropping by, today. (The video that the guys refer to and quote, unfortunately, has some naughty language, so please don’t watch it with children nearby, or if you’re offended easily.)
      Thanks for stopping by, friend!

  2. Stan "Honey Badger" Cromatire

    I beseech all friends and neighbors to see through the blindness (and talented blogger and photographer and cook and mother) of my dear friend, Elizabeth. She erroneously thinks that Honey Badger “don’t care” because in the You Tube Video our little vivacious narrartor states and I quote: “Honey Badger don’t care, he just takes what he wants”…. and people of the earth better recognize that is exactly right. But let’s be perfectly clear. Honey Badger DOES CARE if any snake, anywhere remotely close to him (like way up in a tree, yes, a tree… is not dead and eaten like a tuna fish sandwich, or shredded like a private document in a shredder, or clawed like…. like…. well just trust me, a honey badger can like REALLY claw effectively. But I digress… the point is you have to be smart enough to know WHAT a honey badger cares about and obviously Biz, as I like to call her, is definitely confused.

    As for my faint hearted friend and Honey Badger intern/”grasshopuh” (see Miagi of Karate Kid) – he is young and must learn more of the Honey Badger way. Just because he got a notch on his belt in west Texas one day (although it is a nice 6 ft. water moccasin), who knows that he didn’t just find it already dead? I’m just sayin…
    again – a true honey badger would never, ever, never, ever release a snake (especially in MY neighborhood). It’s like God lying – it is just impossible.

    I hope this clears up any confusion that Liz has stirred up regarding this most critical matter. She and Cameron are still my dear friends….. they just ain’t no Honey Badgers.

    Respectfully Submitted,

    Stan “THE Honey Badger” Cromartie

    • Elizabeth Simmons

      I hope everyone else has had as much fun with this little topic as we have…. You crack me up, Stan. E.

  3. Pingback: Homecoming! « Out to Lunch…
  4. Pingback: More favorites of 2011 (Part 2) « Out to Lunch…

I'm curious. Tell me what you think...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s