Evil and Certain Death…

At exactly 10:30 a.m., this very morning, I will be dying a very slow and painful death.

I’m not kidding.
You see, my husband and I have signed up for a “buddy” workout.
…with a smallish woman named Cheri.
If the exercise doesn’t kill me, my “buddy” might.
Or, I might kill my buddy.
Not sure yet.
ThrillCam and I really enjoy each other’s company on a daily basis.  We are different enough that we balance each other out.  We laugh together.  We respect each other.  We truly enjoy being together.
We love one another.
But.
We do not exercise together.
Or compete together.  Against, yes.  Together, no.
Well, except in Nerts, the card game.  We can destroy others when we play together.
But, exercise…  I’m not convinced it’s going to be pretty.
I’ve said for years, we could never, ever compete together on a show like The Amazing Race.  Our differences would make for very enjoyable television, but divorce would be at the other end for us.
Oh, don’t worry! I will, for sure, give you all the gory details.
That is, if I can lift my body up off my cool tile floor, where I will most likely fall in a heap as soon as I get home from the gym.
In fact, you might not expect a blog post from me for a couple of weeks.
I think I might be in traction, which will prevent me from writing anything.
Wish me luck.
No.
Wait.
I don’t believe in luck.
Say a prayer for me.
Yes.
And for my husband.  For protection.
Not sure who the protection is for, but God will.
Oh.
And, for our children.
We’ve already warned them that we will both be in a great deal of pain and very, very cranky today, so they better not mess with us.
You might also pray for our trainer.
Cheri.
She seems all sweetness and light now…
In reality, she is a lioness.
Mean.
And hungry.
Blood-thirsty.
She scares me.
I’m thinking there’s something quite evil lurking in that perky, little body of hers….
So, yes.
Pray for her, too.
And, pray she shows me…us… kindness.
And compassion.
And, maybe that she gets a flat tire this morning.
So, then she’ll have to cancel.
Yes! YES!!!
Pray for that.
If not, it was nice knowing you,
E.
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