“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott
I want desperately to jump right into 2013 with my usual light-hearted, fun-loving, meaningless stuff, but I have to be honest today and say that I simply cannot.
One of my childhood friends lost her son to cancer, yesterday. He was a Senior in high school.
18 years old.
Old enough to have played, loved, and, most of all, dreamed.
Far too young to leave his mother’s side.
It’s the wrong order. Children are not supposed to leave their parents alone.
While I didn’t like that both my parents died in recent years, I could wrap my brain around it. I understood it. It was in the proper order, right?
I did not know Cameron, but I know Tammie. She is light, happy, always smiling, laughing. Spunky, like her haircut.
All that I’ve read or heard about him, showed him to be an outstanding young man. A fighter. A prankster.
An inspiration to many.
Not surprising, as his mama has a beautiful heart, too.
I cannot take credit for being a good friend, though. We were very close in elementary and junior high. Still close, but not as, in high school. Then, I left for college, got married, had kids and moved many times away from her.
My recent move closer to home, and her son’s even more recent diagnosis, rekindled our fledgling relationship. (Actually, she came to my mother’s funeral in 2011 and stayed long after to catch up with me; it was quite lovely.) We’ve only spoken once on the phone since I’ve moved closer, but we’ve texted quite a bit more. We were both hopeful once he recovered and returned home, we would have lunch and really catch up.
I would check in, sometimes daily, sometimes a week or two would pass, but always with a prayer in my heart for this kid. I had lost track of his progress over this past week; I was preoccupied with a trip and frivolous things. I thought he was doing better. I was sorely wrong.
I just did not expect his death.
My oldest son and I were driving back out to the house from running errands when my sister’s text with the news popped up on my phone.
It literally took my breath away.
If I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, I can’t imagine how my friend felt…feels…
I may not have been the friend that I should have been on the front end of this, but I am determined to be the friend I should be on the back end of this.
If you have a moment, please say a prayer for my friend Tammie and her family.
May the Lord’s arms of grace, peace, comfort and love wrap so tightly about them…
Rest in peace, Cameron.