Fashion Police

January 9, 2011

Dear Friends, my posts may be a bit sporadic over the next little bit. Check in frequently, or, subscribe to the RSS feed… or, sign up (over to the right) for an email alert when I post.  And, thanks for stopping by my little bloggity-blog! Love, E.

 

Since I have two stinky ol’ boys, I never had the opportunity to dress a little girl in cute, frilly pink outfits and such. So, when I’m out shopping, I often find myself drawn to little girls’ clothing.

I just like to look.  Dream.

…Be amazed.

Don’t get me wrong; I love my boys.  I wouldn’t trade them for anything and actually figure they are a little easier than girls, especially in the clothing department.  But, it doesn’t stop me from looking at the girls’ fashion offerings.

So, when I was out the other day, I decided I would snap a few pictures of some of my favorites, with my iphone camera.

For example:

Isn’t that the cutest?!   If I had a daughter, I could totally see her wearing that jacket, over a white turtleneck, black tights, and some black Uggs, or the likes. 

I was so smitten with these precious little outfits, until ThrillCam pointed out the fact that we were not in Target, or at the Mall.

 

He reminded me we were at PetSmart; these precious little outfits were for dogs.  Not humans.

 

Bathing suits for a dog?  Seriously?

Aren’t dogs born with their own personal swimsuits on already?  How can a dog, in good conscience, honestly go poolside wearing one of these?

I don’t understand this new phenomenon–to clothe your dogs in designer duds–because I could never, ever confuse Bear with a human. He’s so completely a yellow lab. And, if I ever got even the slightest bit close to forgetting that, I’d just have to lean over and take a whiff of the dog.

He stinks!  I mean, he rolls in cow poo and jumps in tanks.  I don’t think even OxyClean could get that combination out of dog clothing.

Another thing…. He sheds.  I can create, daily, an entirely new dog with the hair he drops on my floors.  I don’t like having all that hair on my own clothes, so why would I want it all over his?

 (That is a pair of blue jeans, complete with rhinestones…)

And, he drinks out of a toilet.

That should, right there, end the conversation.  What if my dog were to be caught drinking out of a toilet while wearing his smart little tuxedo dog jacket?  How embarrassing!  How uncouth.

Lest we forget: Bear can clear out a room in seconds with odors that rival any natural gas plant. (Although, I do have two teenaged boys, so this argument may not hold up in a court of law.)

Honestly, I would never dress Bear in cute, trendy clothing.  I couldn’t.  He’s just not suited for it. (ha! get it? suited for it?! I crack myself up…)

I really think he would be utterly and completely mortified…

But, if he weren’t, I would.

E.

“The finest clothing made is a person’s skin [dog’s fur], but, of course, society demands something more than this.”  ~Mark Twain

Written by Elizabeth Simmons Posted in Bear, Objects of desire, Uncategorized Tagged with dogs